I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
