ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
