It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
