Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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