what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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