SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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