The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
