"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
