We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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