The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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