Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
