Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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