I will die if light touches me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
