Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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