What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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