Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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