he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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