dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
