Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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