You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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