I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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