Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
