Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize