he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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