Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
