In the future we'll all be gay
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
