I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
