I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
