It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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