i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Small penises have feelings too.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
