His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize