Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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