I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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