My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need water and some morals
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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