Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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