goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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