I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
