we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
