I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
