escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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