Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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