Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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