I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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