You work out of a Hotel?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
