No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize