I'm so fucking centered right now
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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