Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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