I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
