And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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