i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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