Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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