I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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