already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
