I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
