i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
