I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
