Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
