You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
