Michael Bay diarrhea
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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