he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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